


sweet healing

by heywtas



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Derek is emotionally hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feelings, First Kiss, I love my sons too much, M/M, Requited Love, Spencer is patient and caring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-19 22:56:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13133940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heywtas/pseuds/heywtas
Summary: Spencer got hurt in a case and it scared the hell out of Derek, but he can't talk about it, so Spencer waits until he's ready to figure out what they are and what they have.





	sweet healing

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, it's my first time posting a fic here and English isn't my first language, so be nice, please. I'm so glad to be able to share this. I hope you like it!

1.  
_Take off your clothes, I want to see you naked._

It was a cold day, and neither of them had to work after the case yesterday, Reid had been beaten up by the unsub and his ribs were bruised, his right eye was swollen and very purple, and he sure had a sore throat from the almost strangulation. He had stayed at Morgan's house after the case because, well, one he didn't want to be alone, and two Morgan wasn't letting him go after he got hurt. So he stayed. 

In silence, they got ready to go to sleep and lied there, in the dark without saying any word. Morgan was afraid to say something and let his feelings get out of his head, because boy, did he get a lot of things going on within him. But neither of them said anything until the exhaustion hit them.

Today Reid woke up first, and finally thought about the case and how Morgan freaked out because he was in danger. He knew there was something going on between the two of them for a while now, but he didn't know exactly what it was. Yes, he knew he was in love with his best friend, and yes, they slept in the same bed in a not very friendly way, with hugging with little clothes on, and that only happened when they were emotionally drained from some hard case. He thought it was normal at first, but after thinking better about it, he saw that things were different, and still he didn't know what was going on. After a few months he had given up on trying to figure it out. But now he wanted to.

  
"Overthinking?" Morgan said bringing Spencer back to reality.

"Oh, I didn't notice you had woken up." His voice was rough, he tried to clear it, but it got worse. "Shit" Morgan made a face remembering last night, he hated it, but got out of bed and brought Spencer water with some pills the doctor gave him.

"Thank you, Derek." He took the pills and drank the water. The older man smiled a bit. "So... I think we should talk. About yesterday." He said hesitantly.

Derek sighed. He wasn't ready for it and Reid could tell from the look on his face. "I don't think I can do this right now. I really want to clear some things with you, but I can't, not now." Spencer was ready to protest, but Derek spoke first. "I know we have to talk, I know that. I'm just not okay, yesterday was very hard on me and the case was too much and I almost lost..." he closed his eyes, he couldn't think about it. Reid understood.

"Do you want me to go?"

"No, please."

"Ok, tell me what you need" Reid whispered. "I'll do anything to make you feel better"

Morgan hesitated, he was so scared. He never felt this broken and fragile before, but being so close to lose Spencer so many times left him on the edge. 

"I need, um, I need to feel you. I need to feel you close and safe, Spencer. I need to be near you" he looked so sadly at the boy that it made Spencer's chest hurt.

"Alright, Derek. I'm here." He took off his clothes quickly, just leaving his boxes on. Derek did the same. Spencer took Derek's hand and led him to the bed, hugging him as soon as the man laid down with him. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm safe" he reassured Derek.

Derek started crying and Spencer let him, because he himself would too. He just hugged the man tightly ignoring the pain on his ribs.

"You make me feel safe, Derek."

2.  
_Give me your hands to touch, I know you've longed to be here._

They didn't talk about it for a week, even though Spencer tried several times. Derek asked him to be patient. He asked himself for how long, because being so close yet so far from Derek was almost killing him. But he waited of course.

One night Derek had too much to drink, and showed up at Spencer's apartment in the middle of the night.

"I know we should've talked about it, pretty boy, but I'm a coward. I can't stand watching you getting hurt, getting in trouble, because it makes me go crazy, you know? I have so many things to tell you yet, so many things to do with you. I'm drunk, I know, but I still feel everything and I miss your healing hands. I miss you. I'm sorry I'm so broken." He said when Spencer opened the door. "I don't know how to make it stop"

"Derek, I-I..." He couldn't think of anything to say because he wasn't expecting it, Derek was drunk and wouldn't remember a thing in the morning. "Let's go inside, ok? We can sleep and talk about it in the morning when you feel better." Spencer hold out a hand for him.

Morgan stared at him for a few seconds, and then said, before taking Spencer's hand, "I care a lot about you, man", _I love you_. His words and eyes screamed  _I love you_  and Spencer knew it. Of course he knew, how couldn't he?

"I know, love. I care about you too." Morgan smiled sadly at him, but they headed to the room and he slept peacefully in Spencer's arms. He didn't have any nightmares that night.

3.  
_We've come here to heal, because we want to be free, we want to be._

 _"_ You called me love when I got here" Derek murmured when they woke up next morning.

"So you remember, then? Does it bother you?" He asked with a grin, Derek only shook his head. "Do you also remember that you were drunk and I told you that we were going to talk?" Reid asked serious, looking into Derek's eyes.

"My head hurts a little, but yeah, I do remember." He sighed. "We will. But first let me apologize for coming here without asking you. I was drunk and I didn't know where to go, and you're my first thought when I feel lost." He told Spencer, the young man smiled at his confession.

"You can come anytime you want, don't be embarrassed or apologize for it. I'm here for you." He took Derek's hand and kissed it making the man smile. It was the first time he saw a real smile on his friend's lips. He loved that smile. Derek looked so younger when he smiled.

"Thank you", he said. "I don't know where to start, but I'll try so I need you to be quiet for me, okay?" Spencer nodded his head. "Last week, on that case, I got really scared seeing you being hold by the unsub, I thought he was going to kill you in front of me, and suddenly it was too much. It paralyzed me. You can tell me that I have to work my fears and don't let them come between our job, that it's dangerous to freak out the way I did, I know that, but I've watched you get seriously hurt so many times, and I couldn't stand seeing you being through it again. I hope you understand that. I really am sorry for all of this, for not being able to talk about it as soon as it happened. But you have to understand how hard is it to me, all those feelings and everything." He said in a breath and looked deeply into Spencer's eyes. "I'm so afraid to lose you that it makes me freak out."

"Can I speak?" He asked unsure. Derek smiled and nodded. "I understand what you mean, I really do. I know why you freaked out, I'm sure at some point I would too, because I also have watched you get hurt, and it wasn't easy for me. We can work it though, but I have to understand what is it between us first, because for months we have been pining over each other and not talking about it isn't helping. I assume that you have feelings for me, like I have for you. I can tell by the way you look at me, and sometimes your pupils dilate when I'm near you, specially when I talk too much, and we get affectionate when there's no one around. And you haven't been sleeping with anyone since the day we slept in the same bed three months ago." He talked while Morgan played with his fingers. "So, I'm asking you. Do you have feelings for me? Is that why you're so scared?"

"I-I do, yes. I..." He was nervous, so Spencer let him take his time, because once the words were out, they would have to do something about it. "In fact, I'm in love with you and I'm helpless, pretty boy."

Spencer's heart was racing. He knew the man wasn't lying, he could see it on his face, and it was like a dream coming true. He was right.

"You're in love with me" he said with a big smile on his face. "I'm in love with you too, Derek. I think it's pretty obvious" there were tears coming down his face. "So what do we do now?" Derek didn't answer his question, just pulled him close and kissed his lips. Spencer smiled into the kiss and returned it with so much affection that his heart was about to explode. Derek's tongue parted his lips and explored every bit of his mouth, while his hands stroke Spencer's wet cheeks. He loved him so much.

"I want to work on my fears. But I don't want to do it alone." Morgan whispered pausing the kiss and letting their foreheads rest together.

"That's good, because I don't want you to do it alone. I'm here, love. I'm with you." And Derek kissed him again, with more fire this time. He was so glad to finally be able to do this. There was almost no space between them, and the only sounds in the bedroom  were the moanings that were coming out of their throats, and their lips touching. "Derek, I want to feel you, please."

"Yes, baby boy, me too" and then they took off their clothes between the kisses. "God, I love you so much."

"I love you." They weren't going to have sex, because they had things to figure out before, but they could do it together. For now, they're only happy to be together. Derek pulled Spencer away for a second and looked into his eyes.

"So... I have a question." Derek started.

"Go for it, Derek" Spencer said smiling sweetly and resting his arms around Derek's neck. 

"Do you really want do be with me through this? Not just like friends, you know. Something more." He asked nervously.

"Like boyfriends? With kissing anytime we want to?" He bit his lip. Derek wanted to kiss him even more.

"Like boyfriends with kissing anytime we want, and maybe more?" He smirked.

"Well..." He blushed at the thought "and maybe more."

"I'm up for it. Do you want to be my boyfriend, Spencer Reid? I know things won't be easy at work and we have a lot of things to deal, but I don't want to be without you." He said with such honesty that Spencer's heart almost got out of his chest even though he knew that it was impossible. He was so happy that he kissed Derek again and again and again.

"Of course I want to be your boyfriend!" It was like the equilibrium of the world was falling into its place.

They hugged for a long time like they were each other's home. Like they belonged there.

4.  
_Our essences dance the ceiling, with this liberating, emancipating, feeling._

In some way, they did work things out. Derek and Spencer got better at dealing with their fears during dangerous cases, and learned to trust each other more, and everything was getting better. Spencer started do stay more at Morgan's house as the months passed. He already had a spare key, a space in Derek's closet, a toothbrush and Derek always had his favorite cereal and coffee in the kitchen. They were good together, and for the first time they really felt happy.

They would be okay eventually. 

**Author's Note:**

> The tittle and fic were based on The Irrepressibles' song, Pale Sweet Healing.


End file.
